Book Review - Notes on an Execution by Danya Kukafka
In ‘Notes on an Execution’ by Danya Kukafka, Ansel Packer is a serial killer facing from the lethal injection on Death Row. With twelve hours to go, he looks over his life and wonders how he got there; it wasn’t supposed to end like this. He wants to be understood, and has a plan. It mightn’t be over for him yet.
Alongside his voice, we hear from the women in his life, including a detective, his mother, and his sister-in-law, telling the story of how he ended up here. In doing so, it looks at society's obsession with serial killers and asks us to consider our notions of rehabilitation, redemption, and justice.
Serial Killer
There's no doubt many of us are fascinated by serial killers. I was in my local supermarket recently , trying to find the wholemeal pitta bread when I overheard a conversation. The fella who stocks the bread shelves was talking loudly with a young female worker who was in the nearby freezer section. They were discussing 'Dahmer', the Netflix drama about the notorious serial killer. He was saying he had been listening to a podcast with the lead investigator and there was so much left out. I heard more than I needed to.
I missed a bit of the conversation when I went to find some frozen peas but when returned the female was saying she was reading a book about the ‘Golden state killer’. They weren't going into explicitly gory details in the parts I heard, but there was a reverence and shared passion for the subject that I'd usually associate with English soccer or movies.
I should say that I can be guilty of this too - I used to enjoy true crime tv shows, though it's something I've largely stopped watching. I personally disliked 'Dahmer' - I found it distasteful and grimy. One of the reasons I don’t like those shows about serial killers is that they’re portrayed as some sort of criminal genius or mastermind. Danya Kukafka sets out to dispel this.
Ansel Packer
We are all light and dark, some of us give in to the dark.
Ansel Packer himself has no grand theory about morality, though he thinks he's going to be discussed (in supermarket aisles) after his passing, the manner of which also adds to his infamy. One of the themes that run through the book is the idea that we contain good and evil, with some people giving in to the dark side.
'No one is all bad. No one is all good. We live as equals in the murky gray in-between....'
he also quotes Locke at one stage, saying
'there is no such as good or evil. Instead, we have memory and choice, and we all live at various points on the spectrum. We are created by what has happened to us, combined with who we choose to be.'
It's no groundbreaking serial killer manifesto, that's for sure. He also says that 'everyone deserves the chance to keep living', which you may or may not agree with by the book's end.
Danya Kukafka
I felt that ‘Notes on an execution’ by Danny Kukafka was an exceptional book early on. There's a chapter that looks at Packer's childhood that is absolutely chilling, just a superb piece of writing that cranks up the tension, giving us an insight into his character. And it's a recurring question that Danya Kukafka asks the reader to consider - how much this plays a part in making him who he becomes.
The most interesting voices belong to the women in the book. Saffy, the investigator, is from a similar background to Packer and when young she also has a yearning for annihilation, which she flirts with but ultimately turns away from, becoming more interested in power and justice after the loss of a friend.
Homicide Detective
The homicide detective in the case is Saffy, who ' had known from a young age that everyone had darkness inside-some just controlled it better than others. Very few people believed that they were bad, and this was the scariest part. Human nature could be so hideous, but it persisted in this ugliness by insisting it was good.”
There are many interesting themes running throughout the book, one of which is 'Infinite universes', this idea that our lives can turn on these tiny decisions:
‘We have billions of potential lives...thousands of alternate universes running like streams beneath our current reality. if morality is determined by our choices, then we must also consider those other universes, in which we've made different ones.'
Saffy considers the alternate lives the victims might have had, and also remarks at a vigil that the victims are 'relevant because of Ansel and the fascination the world has for men like him.' She also recognises the alternate universe where she doesn't interact and sets off a dangerous chain of events.
Reader
The 'why' when it comes to serial killers is often what interests people the most, and one of the many things I like about ‘Notes on an execution’ is that Danya Kukafka never explicitly spells this out. It's left to the reader to decide what they believe, and there were many times in this book that I had to put it aside and think about where I stood on some of the issues
Packer has abandonment issues, and never feels that he belongs. He finds solace in one place, and this was his proof that he was capable of love, and maybe being loved too. We're asked to decide what shaped Packer, was he capable of evil before the early events happened? It's up to the reader to form their own opinions.
It's such a well-paced book, with some beautiful and insightful passages of writing throughout. Talking about grief, one of the character says:
“Grief was a hole. A portal to nothing. Grief was a walk so long Hazel forgot her own legs. It was a shock of blinding sun. A burst of remembering: sandals on pavement, a sleepy back seat, nails painted on the bathroom floor. Grief was a loneliness that felt like a planet.”
Justice and punishment
The book also asks us to consider themes of justice and punishment. Saffy, as a law enforcement officer, is the one who wonders that ' justice does not feel like compensation, it does not even feel like satisfaction. ...she pictures the needle, pressing into Ansel's arm. The blue pop of the vein, how unnecessary. How pointless. The system has failed them all.'
'Real punishment would look different….. like a lonely, epic nothing. A life sentence in a men's prison, the years rotting as they pass. The long forgetting of his name...the sort of faceless death he deserves. Instead, Ansel has been given this noble sacrifice. martyr status.'
Violence
I know some people will be put off by the idea of a book about a serial killer, but I wouldn't let it be a factor in this book. The violence mostly happens off-page, though it is hinted at. There's also mention of animals being harmed, though again this is not explicit.
Notes on an Execution Summary
I found this to be a dark, intense, powerful, and emotional book. It's a literary thriller that is superbly written, pacy, and asks you questions about yourself and how you feel about the themes throughout. it doesn't make judgments - as the reader, do you believe in rehabilitation? Did Ansel get what he deserved? And one of the biggest questions of all - that of nature versus nurture.
I think a proper work of fiction should make you ask questions about what you believe in, about how firm the ground is beneath your feet. I found myself reading the book in short, sharp gulps, revelling in the prose before having to put it down and think about what I'd just read. Definately a book to be savoured.
For me, 'Notes on an Execution' has also got a perfect ending, placing the focus where it should be - with the victims. As Danya kukafka says in her foreword:
“I am tired of seeing Ted Bundy’s face. This is a book for the women who survive....Average men become interesting when they start hurting women. Notes on an Execution was born from a desire to dissect this exhausting narrative.”
First published January 25, 2022 by William Morrow
306 Pages
Book Review - Notes on an execution by Danya Kukafka